


all too well

by teal_shadow



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: #HeyJinuDay #aretagsneeded #ActorJinu #ArtistMino #angst #whatarehappyendingseven, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2020-10-28 18:21:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20783045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teal_shadow/pseuds/teal_shadow
Summary: Snippets.Life can be summed up in significant moments.Love can be reduced to specific memories.Is there a way to stop remembering?It was Jinwoo who was prone to getting lost, but Mino is the one that's stranded.





	1. because I have no regrets from loving you, so only take the good memories

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in anticipation for Jinwoo's 48 hour birthday celebration. Originally supposed to be a drabble, but it got too long so decided to post it here. Enjoy~ (or don't)

_I walked through the door with you, the air was cold,  
But something 'bout it felt like home somehow _

_and I left my scarf there at your sister's house,  
And you still got it in your drawer even now._

It was Christmas and Jinwoo’s sister had invited them over to celebrate. Finals had just finished which meant Mino was sleep deprived and tired. Naturally, Jinwoo offered to drive them there.

Jinwoo was in his first year out of college. He had been to numerous auditions for talent agencies the past months. While that was happening, he decided to get a barista job to settle his living expenses in a café near their university.

Having been dating a while, they decided to start living together the spring before Mino’s last year of university started. Mino also had a side gig, which was performing every Friday at one of the underground hiphop clubs. He couldn’t bear to let Jinwoo shoulder the rent alone. Before the older could protest, he sealed the deal with a kiss _and maybe more but details_.

They arrived after a two hour drive. It was cold outside and Mino had woken up once he felt the car stop. He reached for Jinwoo’s hand, smiling. He was nervous on how he’ll be received. Jinwoo squeezed back as a form of encouragement. When they were both wrapped up in their scarves and padded jackets, they made their way to Jinwoo’s sister’s porch with their shared luggage. As they opened the door, the twins emerged and immediately enveloped their favorite (and only) uncle in a hug. Mino couldn’t help but stare for a while. He knew how much Jinwoo had missed his nephews who were growing up too fast. His attention moving when Jinwoo’s sister and husband reached for their luggage. As Jinwoo was busy playing with his nephews, Mino introduced himself to the couple and they happily welcomed him inside. Jinwoo’s sister helped him out of his coat and scarf while her husband instructed him to follow upstairs since he’ll show him their room.

The three days they stayed was full of warmth and happiness. Jinwoo’s nephews grew fond of Mino throughout their stay. His camera was full of pictures of them playing out in the snow and stuffing their faces with cookies and other sweets. As they were on their drive back in Seoul, he realized he forgot his scarf at Jinwoo’s sister’s house. The kids were clinging to his legs right up to the point they left that he didn’t notice. He didn’t mind though. As he looked at the passenger seat and Jinwoo’s sleepy smile, he knew it wasn’t going to be a problem.

_And I know it's long gone,_  
_ And that magic's not here no more,_  
_ And I might be okay,_  
_ But I'm not fine at all._

Mino didn’t know why on this particular night, he was looking through the hundred polaroids they took together. It was five years-worth of memories and shared kisses. Of stolen sweaters and late night coffee drives. Of spontaneous adventures and long nights admiring skylines while drinking. Of numerous parties and long-term promises. Of sleepy mornings and junk food-filled drama marathons. 

_Ah_, he finally remembered.

This is the first time he was spending a supposed anniversary alone.

_'Cause there we are again on that little town street._  
_ You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over me._  
_ Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well._

Their anniversary in Jeju would always be one of his favorites. The weather was perfect. Being ridiculous, they wanted to go all out. They rented a car that had a retractable roof.

“Yah, why am I the one that’s driving?” Jinwoo complained as Mino threw the keys his way. Mino was busying himself with loading their luggage into the car’s trunk.

“Hyung, I want to take as many pictures as I can for this trip. It’s our 2nd anniversary after all.” the younger defended. Being a photographer, Jinwoo knew he had to support the younger in any way he can. He sighed and without further complaint got into the driver’s seat. He knew that Mino needed new photos for his portfolio.

“Fine. You’re lucky I love you. I wanted to take in the sights too. This is my first time in Jeju you know.” Jinwoo pouted which made Mino laugh as he closed the trunk. He went around and got into the passenger seat.

“I love you,” Mino said and kissed the elder’s cheek. Jinwoo smiled and put Mino's seatbelt on him. Once Mino's phone was connected to the radio and his prepared playlist started, they were off.

It was nighttime already by the time they called it a day. They had decided to look around more instead of dropping their stuff in the hotel first. They were now on their way back to the main street and Jinwoo noticed Mino had fallen asleep. It was understandable with the day they had. They tried to take in as much of Jeju when they arrived. The younger had made him pose too many times to count today.

They went to three tourist spots. One was a picturesque café that reminded Jinwoo of his barista days. He had finally signed a contract with one of his target talent agencies six months ago. He was in good hands. He had a few minor roles in dramas and some photoshoots so he thought he was doing well. Mino, on the other hand, was also on the right path. He landed an apprenticeship with one of his photography professors. He was working at a studio near Gangnam. Both of them were working hard and only had the weekend to spend time with each other despite living in the same house.

It was one of the main reasons for this trip. They needed to relax and enjoy the fruits of their labor. As he was reminiscing, Jinwoo didn’t notice that they were approaching an intersection until the last minute. He had been too preoccupied with looking at his boyfriend. He stepped on the brake hard that the force woke Mino up. He let out a sigh of relief knowing he stopped the car just in time since an old lady was already crossing the street.

“Hyung,” he heard Mino whine. He was still trying to catch his breath when he held the other’s hand.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” he asked. Instead of responding, Mino put a hand on his cheek and pecked his lips.

“Keep your eyes on the road, dummy.” the younger scolded and Jinwoo laughed.

“Roger that, sleeping beauty.”

_Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide-eyed gaze._  
_ We're singing in the car, getting lost upstate._  
_ The Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place,_  
_ And I can picture it after all these days._

BIGBANG’s Haru Haru played as they were driving to Busan to visit Seungyoon. Jinwoo couldn’t help but turn it up. Mino just let him. They decided to take Mino’s car this time because it had more space. It was going to be the gang’s get together after three years. All their careers are stable and they can request for leave.

“파도처럼 부숴진 내 맘  
바람처럼 흔들리는 내 맘  
연기처럼 사라진 내 사랑  
문신처럼 지워지지 않아  
한숨만 땅이 꺼지라 쉬죠  
내 가슴속에 먼지만 쌓이죠 (say goodbye)” Jinwoo was trying his best to rap the exchange between TOP and G-Dragon and Mino couldn’t help but laugh in fondness. When Taeyang’s part came in he knew it was his queue. Jinwoo never sang the vocalists' parts when it came to BIGBANG songs, so Mino made it his sole duty to take on the burden whenever the elder insisted they sing their songs in karaoke. Mino knew he was way off-key but his singing always made Jinwoo laugh. _This was it_, he thought. _This is what perfect night drive was._

Autumn in Busan was a sea of yellows, oranges, and reds. It was romantic and Jinwoo loved it. He had always been a fan of dramas. This picturesque scenery is what dramas are made of. But he didn’t think he and Mino’s story fit to be a drama. They were perfect. They were boring and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He can hear distinct clicks of a camera and he knew his boyfriend’s studio will be full of him again.

“Yah, do you know how expensive it is to take pictures of me?” he playfully scolded the other who was a few meters away from him. Mino smiled and placed his camera back to hang on his neck.

“Would kisses suffice?” the younger bargained. Jinwoo shook his head and laughed. He motioned for Mino to come near him. Mino was prepared to run in case the older tried to abduct his precious camera again but Jinwoo got a hold of his arm. With fond eyes, Jinwoo pulled the other closer. Under the red shade of a tall birch tree, they sealed their respective I love yous in a chaste kiss. Without their knowledge, Danah had taken a photo of them kissing.

It wasn’t until a year later that Seungyoon would offer Mino a gift of a framed photo in congratulations for another successful solo exhibit under his name in Seoul. It looked like a still from a drama. Jinwoo loved it so much he placed it on the crystal table in their foyer where people who would enter their shared apartment would see it first.

The framed photo wasn’t with him now. Jinwoo took it. Mino would like to think it’s by Jinwoo’s bedside table. But he knew better than to give himself false hope considering that the elder might’ve put it away in storage.

_Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red._  
_ You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-size bed_  
_ And your mother's telling stories about you on a tee ball team_  
_ You tell me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me._

Jinwoo’s mom always had a habit of showing Mino pictures of Jinwoo and his sisters when they were younger. Being the only boy, he had a lot. Jinwoo’s parents have retired in the small island of Imjado, but there seemed to be a surprise each time they visit. The surprise being more recovered pictures from _the_ actor and model Kim Jinwoo’s childhood.

“Mom! Why do you always do this?” Jinwoo whined. Mino was already flipping through the first album. It was Jinwoo during his preschool years. He couldn’t help but coo at the elder’s chubby cheeks and protruded dimple in the pictures.

“Let Mino have his fun. He isn’t even teasing. I don’t think anyone has ever sincerely appreciated my collection until I met him.”  
“These are priceless. Do you think I can borrow them and make an exhibit out of it?” Mino teased.

“YAH!” Jinwoo was fuming and blushing. Mino and his mom on the other hand, just continued flipping through the album and laughing.

“What’s it like growing up here?” Mino asked. They were lying down in Jinwoo’s bed that he had when he was an adolescent. It was a good sized twin bed with navy sheets. Sheets they’d have to wash tomorrow before Jinwoo’s mom even finds out what they did but _details_.

“Familiar. That’s the best word for it. Maybe it’s one of the main reasons why I’m a timid person.” Mino tightened his hold on Jinwoo’s waist. Jinwoo reached over and put his palm on the other’s cheek.

“Am I familiar?” Mino knew he was or they wouldn’t be in this position. But there are times when sudden bouts of insecurity get to him. Jinwoo was a well-known actor and model. Aside from his talent, one would be blind to disregard his looks. The love of his life was always surrounded by beautiful people. Female or male, Jinwoo’s circle of friends tend to awaken the ugly monster that is jealousy residing in him.

“Silly, you’re the constant.” Jinwoo’s voice held conviction. His eyes, twinkling.

“What does that mean?” Mino pushed on. His heart swelling with love over this angel he was so damn lucky to meet.

“You are my air. Without you, I don’t even know how I’ll survive.” with those two sentences, Mino’s heart felt at ease and brimming with love for the person in front of him.

“I love you too.” he replied and Jinwoo hummed before succumbing to sleep.

_And I know it's long gone_  
_ And there was nothing else I could do_  
_ And I forget about you long enough_  
_ To forget why I needed to_

Seunghoon had invited him out after visiting his new exhibit. He didn’t even notice until later that they were in one of the restaurants they frequented when the gang was all based in Seoul. When they were just four wide-eyed college students powering their way through university, sharing what little allowance they had left on a Friday night to get cheap beer and soju with chicken and ramen.

“Auntie! One soju and two shot glasses please!” Seunghoon called out as they sat on a table near the door. The lady manning the register hollered that she heard him.

“It’s been a while since we were here.” Mino said. He can’t help but be amazed how this restaurant managed to preserve itself after almost seven years.

“Yeah. When was the last? Oh! I think it was when Seungyoon decided to move to Busan and produce music from there. Also, it was the night he had to tell you he was dating your sister.” Seunghoon’s amusement from remembering that wild night showed and Mino couldn’t help but smile.

“That long, huh.”

They had finished four bottles of soju, a whole chicken, and two bowls of ramen when Mino decided to ask his friend’s ulterior motive to this sentimental night.

“What’s up really, hyung?” he asked. Seunghoon gave him his signature smirk. Mino sighed and tried his best to mentally prepare himself for whatever was coming.

“He’s coming back.” Seunghoon simply said.

“Who is he?” Mino asked. But from the shaky tone of his voice, both them knew the answer to it. It’s been two years already. He was bound to comeback. Mino had been counting the days but he wouldn’t admit that to any soul, living or dead.

“Jinwoo hyung, I’m picking him up from the airport tomorrow night. Well, later tonight.” Seunghoon replied after glancing at the clock perched on the wall. It was 2am already. He looked back at Mino.

“Do you want to do it?” Seunghoon knew it was long overdue. This thing between Mino and Jinwoo. If he wouldn’t give them a bit of a push, Seungyoon and Danah would both give him a scolding.

“Why would I? He asked you.”

“Then, come with me. It’s been a while.”

“What if he doesn’t want to see me?”

“Are we talking about the same Kim Jinwoo? You were friends before anything, Mino-yah. I’m sure he missed you as well.” Seunghoon won’t divulge how Jinwoo still asks about Mino’s well-being, new exhibits, and fashion collaborations in the time that passed.

“Okay,” Mino didn’t know why he was suddenly agreeing. Maybe it was the alcohol that’s making him feel buzzed. Maybe it was the fear of Seunghoon knowing how exactly to push his emotional capacity. Maybe it was just for the simple that in the two years that passed, Kim Jinwoo has never left his mind or heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a product of a sleep-deprived college student escaping from her revisions. Comments are welcome~ next and last chapter will be out soon!


	2. i’m still scared of love so make me trust you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinwoo can’t turn back time.
> 
> Even if he ran as fast as he could, regrets are known after the battle is lost.
> 
> He learned that the hard way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> needed to finish it before ao3 deletes the only good half I wrote 😅
> 
> anw, hope you enjoy this songkim fic I needed to get out of my drafts!

_'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night._

_We dance around the kitchen in the refrigerator light_

_Down the stairs, I was there, I remember it all too well, yeah._

Jinwoo was getting busier as his career sky-rocketed. He didn’t think his first lead role in a drama would land him this much attention. The fame was overwhelming. There didn’t seem to be any free time on his schedule aside from sleeping and bathing. It wasn’t even a full eight hours sleep on their bed but mostly spent in his work van provided by the agency.

He was coming back from the cast’s finale dinner. He had a few drinks but he wasn’t drunk. He can feel the exhaustion seep through his bones though. _When was the last time I got at least five hours of sleep in bed with Mino?_ he thought. Mino’s photography career was going well and he had his own studio now. He even told Jinwoo one early morning as he was preparing to take a short trip to catch mountain sceneries that he was going to hold an exhibit soon. Jinwoo felt bad not remembering when it was going to be but he trusted his phone would remind him. _That’s what smart phones were for, right?_ with that thought, he entered their darkened home.

He wanted to make a detour to the kitchen before flopping down their bed and calling it a night because he was thirsty. He also didn’t want to risk a hangover on his day-off with Mino tomorrow. As he was rummaging through their fridge, Jinwoo jumped when he felt arms wrap around his waist. After the initial shock, he smiled. He knew the feel of those arms as ridiculous as that sounded. It also helped that those arms were littered with tattoos he memorized as well as his lines.

“Hey,” he greeted.

“You reek of soju and smoke.” Mino complained but continued to bury his face on Jinwoo’s neck. It was difficult for Jinwoo to move but he faced Mino and smiled apologetically.

“I couldn’t help it.”

“I can’t kiss you with soju breath.” Mino pouted and Jinwoo laughed.

“I’m sorry. How bout we stay like this for a while instead? Then I’ll go brush my teeth.” Jinwoo put his arms around Mino’s neck and they started to sway together. It wasn’t intentional. Mino started humming an unfamiliar tune. Even if Jinwoo felt the coolness of the open fridge door, he didn’t mind. It was a good substitute for candle light. They hadn’t been on a date for months now. Jinwoo felt the most apologetic about it. He knows that even if Mino said _it’s okay_ a million times, he is hurting. Jinwoo is hurting him. He put his head on Mino’s shoulder and tears just flowed down. It took a few minutes before Mino noticed the dampness on his right shoulder. Without saying words, he held onto Jinwoo’s waist tighter and kissed his head.

True to his word, Jinwoo brushed his teeth and took a shower. Rinsing off the smell of smoke and soju that lingered after their wrap up party. As he was rinsing off, he was surprised to feel hands on his shoulders. He didn't even notice Mino come in. He laughed.

"What're you doing here? Aren't you tired?" he teased Mino who was littering kisses on his shoulder making his way up to Jinwoo's neck.

"Missed you," Mino replied.

They didn't even make it to bed and both were too tired to bother putting clothes on. They slept pressed to each other naked under their blanket. It was the best sleep they both had in months.

_Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much,_

_And maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up._

_Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well._

He didn’t know when it started falling apart. He always thought they’d get through whatever. It was an established fact for the longest time that Song Minho and Kim Jinwoo were soulmates. They held on long enough to memorize each other’s good and bad traits. They’ve gone through Mino’s worst bouts of jealousy and Jinwoo’s insecurity. Everyone including himself were banking on the two of them getting married, maybe not in Korea, but somewhere where it was legal and surrounded by their closest friends and family.

*

Jinwoo was invited to an awards show. It was for the music industry. Music holds a special place in his heart. Even if he and Mino were into making some tracks of their own during their spare time, they didn’t venture through with it, deciding instead to focus on their current careers.

He just finished presenting the album of the year award that went to a well-known boy group when he decided to retire to his dressing room. His staff weren’t there. His manager saying he had to pick some documents up in the company before accompanying Jinwoo to the after party. His stylist had been working really hard because of his schedules, he told her earlier that she can call it an early night.

“Hey,” the greeting startled him given only his mirror lights were on and not the room’s.

He turned and standing by the door was Dara.

“Noona, hello.” he greeted. Dara fumbled for the light switch and stepped inside the empty but now lit room. She settled in the couch and gestured for Jinwoo to sit beside her. He complied.

“What brings you here?” he asked. He gave his friend a soft smile noticing how she seemed to be pondering something and was in deep thought.

“I heard you turned down the job. What was wrong?” it sounded like an accusation but he knew she was entitled to feel a bit vexed at him. When he was still a rookie actor, Dara found a solid connection between them and they became fast friends. It seemed like years but they’ve been constantly mentioning in talk shows how it was about time they shoot a drama or movie together.

He let out a sigh. Jinwoo knew Dara wouldn’t leave his room until he answered her.

“I did turn down the offer. I just think I need a little break is all.” it wasn’t a lie but it wasn’t the entire truth either. Mino and him were back to fighting about little things. Ultimately, it boiled down to how Jinwoo always picked his career over their relationship.

"Are you okay? How are things at home?" her annoyance instantly melting and turning to genuine concern. She was in full big sister mode now. From her expression, she seemed to remember that one night Jinwoo called her up at midnight and asked if she can accompany him to drink. She brought Jiyong along knowing he can secure them a private room at one his closest friends' club. Jinwoo drank a total of five green bottles alone and refused to talk to them. He became a crying mess halfway through his third bottle and Jiyong understood Mino's name among the gibberish Jinwoo was spewing.

He knew he can trust Dara the whole truth but the guilt is eating him up to the point that talking about his relationship with Mino outside the two of them seemed like an act of betrayal.

*

_Two nights ago_

Jinwoo was excited to go home. He just came from a meeting with a director from a big broadcasting station. He was offered another leading role but this time for a period drama. It was one of his dreams. He couldn’t wait to tell Mino over dinner.

As he was finishing up the pasta he prepared, he heard the front door unlock. Setting down the pasta and wine on the dining table, he wiped his hands on his apron and went to the foyer. Mino was there with a slight frown on his face. He approached his boyfriend with a smile.

"Hey you, welcome home! Dinner's ready." Jinwoo was trying to bring the mood up but Mino looked at him blankly.

"Oh, you're here." Mino said. His flat tone made Jinwoo frown.

"What's wrong?" Jinwoo worried over his bottom lip as Mino went pass him to walk to their bedroom. He wasn't sure what he'd done wrong but Mino rarely threw a fit. If he was being honest, Jinwoo knew he deserved this treatment with how he'd been ignoring his boyfriend because of work. He really wanted to make it up to the younger but too many opportunities had been missed. He positioned himself outside their bedroom door that was left ajar. He can catch a glimpse of Mino's legs hanging by the edge of their bed.

"Do you know what day it is today?" Mino spoke. His voice held an accusatory tone which left Jinwoo perplexed. _No_, he thought. But he knew that'll only aggravate Mino more. Jinwoo honestly didn't know what he'd missed. Their anniversary wasn't for another two months. Mino's birthday comes a month after. Before Jinwoo can answer, Mino spoke again.

"It was the showcase of my first line today." Jinwoo suddenly felt his heart drop at those words. He missed it. The most important day in Mino's career in the fashion industry and he missed it.

"Mino--" he tried to start but the younger cut him off. 

"I'll eat later. I need sleep." Jinwoo knew Mino was tired. He was tired of his own excuses as well.

"Okay." 

Jinwoo ate alone that night and decided to give Mino some space. He slept in their guest bedroom. He opted to change the dusty sheets first and proceeded with his usual nightly routine. No one had been in their house in months. As he was pondering how to make it up to Mino, his absence from the lives of everyone he loved dawned on him. No amount of CF deals or movie offers can get him out of the guilt of missing out on Yoon's celebration for the hit album he produced for a boy group that topped Billboard charts, Hoony's first international dance recital that he choreographed by himself, his nephews graduating preschool, and Mino's debut in the fashion industry. He decided to call his manager to postpone his schedules except for the awards ceremony he had to attend later that week.

*

_Night before awards show_

Jinwoo woke up and looked at his phone. It was 9:00am. He knew he woke up too late. Mino would've been up an hour ago and in his studio by now. He decided that if he wanted to make it up to the younger, he'd have to put more effort. His plan was to drop by Mino's studio with homemade lunch that day. He knew the younger tends to forget to eat once he's immersed in his craft. 

After taking a shower, Jinwoo decided to call Seunghoon. The other answered after three rings.

"If it isn't my famous actor friend, to what do I owe the pleasure of this rare call?" Seunghoon teased.

"Hello to you too, Hoon-ah. Are you in Seoul?" he knew he had to make it up to his bestfriend as well. Afternoon coffee would be nice if Seunghoon was in Seoul and not in Japan or Europe.

"Lucky you, I am. Would you grace me with your presence during my scarce break?" despite the teasing, Seunghoon’s tone gave away that he missed him as well.

“Afternoon coffee? At the café near your studio?” Jinwoo offered.

“Are you paying?”

“Of course.” _a small price to pay for being a shit friend as of late _Jinwoo thought.

“See you later, hyung!”

Jinwoo was welcomed by Mino’s staff when he entered his atelier. There were some new faces but he promised himself he would get to know everyone again. Their relationship wasn’t made public given Jinwoo is an actor but the staff who had been with Mino since his early years as a photographer establishing a name for himself knew about them and kept it their secret.

“Is Mino in?” he asked Serim, one of the staff he recognized.

“Yes, he’s in his studio out back.” She gestured towards the door on the left side.

“Thank you.” he walked there. His anxiety growing by tenfold once he reached the door. He knocked three times until he heard a faint _come in_.

To say Mino was surprised was an understatement, he was smiling as he looked up from a garment he was hand-stitching thinking it was one of his staff asking what he wanted for lunch but it immediately turned sour when he saw Jinwoo.

“Hey, I brought lunch.” Jinwoo knew Mino would start giving him the silent treatment. Jinwoo just let himself in given Mino was back to what he was working on. He set up their lunch diligently and sat down.

“Mino-yah, let’s talk.” he initiated. The other stopped what he was doing and faced him. It might’ve caught Jinwoo off guard but he really wanted to fix this.

“I know I haven’t been fair to you the past few months. I can’t blame you for thinking that I don’t care about this relationship anymore. But I love you, Song Mino. I love you so much I can’t bear it if you won’t be by my side until the end. I’m willing to do anything, love. Anything at all. Please, please let me make it up to you.” Jinwoo was in tears now and bowing. Mino wasn’t far from shedding tears of his own but he knew he had to answer his boyfriend.

“I don’t know if I can believe you at this point,” Mino whispered. Jinwoo almost didn’t hear him because of his sniffling but he nodded in understanding.

“But are you still willing to try?” he said with difficulty because he was too close to sobbing. Mino stood up and closed the distance between them. Without prompt, he took Jinwoo’s face in his hands and wiped his overflowing tears. He kissed Jinwoo’s forehead.

“Okay,” he said softly and Jinwoo swore in that moment he needed to do what he can to make up for all the time lost.

It took Jinwoo a while to stop crying but Mino patiently wiped his tears and continued reassuring him that he loved him. They sat down through lunch and Mino complimented his skills despite knowing it’s been at least a year since the elder cooked. He kissed Mino good bye around 2pm to let the younger focus on his work and Hoon just texted he was nearby.

“Tell Seunghoon hyung hi from me,” Mino reminded him as he was about to exit the atelier with the now empty lunchboxes he brought.

“Will do!”

Seunghoon was already waiting at a nearby café. It took Jinwoo half an hour to get there because he opted to walk forgetting that he didn’t have his manager or bodyguard with him. He had to make a detour to a convenience store to buy a mask. After that, he got lost. He had to turn into two streets which made him think he just went to a roundabout way to it but at least he wasn’t stopped by a fan.

“What took you so long, hyung?” Hoon complained. He already ordered his drink when Jinwoo sat down in front of him. Jinwoo was still huffing from his long walk when he managed to reply.

“Got lost. No manager or car.” his short explanation to his tardiness. Hoon raised an eyebrow.

“Mino let you go alone?” Jinwoo frowned.

“He was busy. I wanted him to focus on work.” Jinwoo replied to which Seunghoon shrugged.

They spent two hours catching up in the café. Seunghoon gave him a USB.

“What’s this for?” Jinwoo asked

“It’s for the show you missed. You and Mino can watch it on your free time. Don’t leak it online though!” for the last comment, Jinwoo had lightly hit it for it. He was grateful and happy that his bestfriend didn’t hold a grudge.

“Next time you have another big show, email me the ticketing site. I’d gladly go even if it means flying somewhere else.” Jinwoo reminded Seunghoon.

“You got it, hyung!”

Seunghoon had dropped him off the apartment and bid him good bye since their dance company was going to have a dinner meeting regarding their next show. Jinwoo plopped down their couch as the cats gathered in front of him. Mino isn’t home yet but he texted Jinwoo asking what he wanted for dinner. Mino was bringing them food anyway so he decided to take a short nap.

It was 8pm when Mino had arrived at their apartment. He was carrying two paper bags full of Chinese food because Jinwoo said he wasn’t craving for anything in particular. Given the elder is currently on break from his acting schedules, he decided to spoil him. With months of dieting, Jinwoo should’ve missed Chinese food. Jhonny, Rei, and Bei were there to greet him at the foyer. It was dark inside the apartment which confused him because Jinwoo should be home by now since Seunghoon dropped him off around 5pm.

“Hyung?” Mino made his way inside the house. He turned on the lights in the living and was surprised to hear Jinwoo’s soft snores. The elder was sleeping on the couch. Mino set the takeout bags on the coffee table and sat on the floor. He slowly stroked the bangs away from his lover’s eyes. It was a tough few months for the both of them and Mino would be lying if he said he wasn’t hurting til now. He wants everything for Jinwoo. He’s so proud of him and that’ll never change. But he also misses the elder so much. They’ve rarely been home together. He hopes that things will go back into place once more. He believes they can work it out as long as they both exert an effort. They might be hurting now but he knows in his heart that their love for each other will prevail.

_Hey, you call me up again just to break me like a promise._

_So casually cruel in the name of being honest._

_I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here_

_'Cause I remember it all, all, all too well._

It was 4am and he was still at his studio trying to finish up a sketch for the launch of his new fashion collaboration with a global brand, when he called. He would know that number anywhere and he’s surprised that person kept it. Being so far away, he didn’t know what he wanted.

“Hello?” the voice sounded unsure.

“Jinwoo hyung,” he greeted a bit coldly. He didn’t want to slip. Even if it's been a little over six months, it felt like years to his heart that still longed for the elder.

"Minho, how are you?" judging by Jinwoo's tone, he was clearly drunk. Mino was worried. He had no idea who’s taking care of Jinwoo in that foreign country where he’s still learning the language. It was also a rare occurrence to get the elder drunk given his high tolerance for alcohol.

“I’m doing okay, hyung. Working. The usual.”

“Ah, I see. That’s good. Good for you, Mino-yah.” Jinwoo’s words were slurred together Mino barely understood the last part.

“Hyung, where are you? Who’s with you?” Mino can’t help it anymore. If Jinwoo was in danger, he’d contact everyone on his list until he can get someone to help.

“Mino-yah, I love you. I miss you, Song Minho.” he can hear Jinwoo sniffling. Mino had to breathe. He can suddenly feel a tightness in his chest.

_No, you have to be strong. Nothing is going to change if you give in now._, he thought to himself.

Suddenly, there was some rustling on the other line.

“Hello?” it was a female’s voice. Mino’s eyebrows creased.

“Sandara Park-ssi?” he asked.

“Yeah. I just went to the restroom for a bit and I didn’t know he would do this. I’m so sorry!” she sounded panicked. He can hear Jinwoo calling out his name in the background.

“Is anyone else with you?” he decided to repress his jealousy and instead let his protective instinct kick in. It would be impossible for a petite woman like Dara to carry Jinwoo’s entire weight.

“Yeah. We had Jinhwan drink with us. I’m not sure you know him. But anyways, I’m sorry Jinwoo called you. Please don’t hold it against him. He’s been very careful about avoiding you. You know that.” with the tone of her voice, it seemed like a reprimand. He chose to ignore it.

“I’m well aware. Good bye then. Have a good night.” he hung up before she can reply.

He didn’t sleep at all that night. He couldn’t work after the call either. Time was supposed to heal. It was evident that both of them, him and Jinwoo needed more time.

_Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it_

_I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it_

_After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own_

_Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone_

Japan. That was where Jinwoo moved to. It was drastic, rushed, and couldn’t be helped. His agency’s CEO and manager couldn’t sleep for a week trying to meet Jinwoo’s demand of doing activities in Japan and outside of South Korea for at least two years. It was abrupt but a month later, everything was fixed (most of the effort was also thanks to Sandara Park and Lee Seunghyun pressuring the company to help their dongsaeng out with minimal questions asked).

He needed to get away from here. Home wasn’t the safe haven it was anymore. Not when every corner, every trinket, everything smelled, felt, and reminded him of Mino and what they had. Their old apartment remained as Jinwoo’s property. When asked by his lawyer what he wanted to do with it, he simply asked to leave it be. He’ll pay for its yearly taxes and all its utilities but he didn’t want anyone else living in it.

Jinwoo, with Rei and Bei in tow, met Kim Jinhwan in Haneda airport. He was a good looking man that seemed to be around his age. He introduced himself as a fellow actor under the same agency as he was going to be a part of while he lived in Japan. Jinhwan gave him a copy of his schedules, which included Japanese classes, and the number of his new manager. He was also kind enough to drop Jinwoo off at his new apartment.

“If you need anything, don’t hesitate to send me a message or call me, Kim Jinwoo-ssi.” Jinhwan shouted as he drove off.

He was looking at his new apartment. It’s more convenient and brand new. It’s just what he needed. But why isn’t he happy? It’s been three months since the breakup. His first ever and a number of his friends helped him through it already. But why did it still hurt? Whenever thoughts of Mino came to him, his chest still grew tight and suddenly he can’t breathe. Dara told him it was normal. Jiyong did as well, saying _“the first one’s always the hardest but the thing is it gets easier and more bearable_”. Jennie only told him to take care of himself. If he wasn’t okay emotionally and mentally, it was perfectly normal. The least he could do was to make sure his physical health was okay in this period.

_Two years_, he thought. He was going to give himself two years. Jinwoo knew he wasn’t just mourning his breakup but also how he had changed. He was perfectly aware that he wasn’t the Kim Jinwoo who met Song Minho all those years ago. Five years can take a toll on a person and change them completely. Was it for the better or for the worse? That, he can’t answer yet.

People were meant to change constantly. Circumstances and priorities, no matter what life throws your way, you can’t stop time from changing who you are. This is why people grow apart. Mino and him needed to let go of each other. He knew that much. But it still doesn’t make it hurt any less.

He needs this time alone. To find himself, a version of himself he can grow to love. If he didn’t learn to love and accept his imperfections, what right did he have to come into another person’s life just to mess them up? In the end, that’s what love is.

_'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so_

_Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known_

_It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well_

Mino didn’t know why he felt nervous all of a sudden. He wasn’t going to propose. It was just reuniting with an old friend (given that friend is his _the one that got away_). Seunghoon had left in search for the bathroom while he sat at a coffee shop in the airport. Jinwoo’s flight arrival was announced a few minutes ago. _Seunghoon better hurry up_, Mino thought.

He can recall that day, two years ago. Jennie, a singer and who was also friends with Jinwoo, had come by to his studio a day before. He had taken an assignment with W magazine but decided to request if they can set up and do the shoot in his studio instead. Thankfully, they were generous enough and believed in Mino’s capabilities that they agreed. He was about to greet Jennie when she walked intimidatingly towards him and seemed to be glaring. He couldn’t understand at first because he had never met or interacted with her before so it was a bit confusing why his model was mad at him.

“You’re Mino, right?” she asked in lieu of greeting him.

“Yes, and you’re Kim Jennie-ssi?” he asked in a soft tone to not antagonize her.

“You broke my friend’s heart.” she accused.

“Excuse me?” now he was definitely more confused. But before she can answer his inquiry, the W Magazine team had arrived and the shoot needed to commence.

Despite being hostile during their introduction, Jennie Kim was a professional. In a span of four hours, they were done and Mino was satisfied with his shots. As everyone was packing up, Jennie approached Mino again. She was already dressed in casual clothes.

“Jinwoo is leaving for Japan tomorrow. He’s leaving for good. His flight’s around 1pm.” she didn’t even wait for him to reply. She was walking out his studio before he can process what she just said.

Like a madman, Mino had cancelled all his afternoon appointments that day. No matter how many times his secretary asked, he just told her to tell his clients he had to reschedule their shoots and fittings on the weekend. He didn’t tell anyone that he was heading to Gimpo to see him leave.

Mino had hidden himself in the same coffee shop two years ago. It had a perfect view of people that come and go. That day, Jinwoo was wearing a red scarf that suspiciously looked like it was his but that might’ve been his mind playing tricks on him. Seunghoon, Seungyoon, Danah, and his sister were there to see him off. Jinwoo had minimal luggage, just a normal sized black suitcase and the carrier that fit Rei and Bei. Even from afar, he can notice the dark circles under Jinwoo’s eyes. Everyone in Jinwoo’s entourage had started taking turns in hugging him. As Jinwoo walked towards the check-in counter, Mino whispered.

“Take care, hyung.” and stood up to leave.

Presently, he noticed that people have started exiting immigrations and customs already. Given only Jinwoo’s flight was announced to have landed the past twenty minutes, it’ll be no surprise if these people were on the same flight. He downed his coffee in preparation. As he was on the lookout for Jinwoo in the crowd, he can feel his palms getting sweaty. When people started dwindling in numbers, he finally saw him. His hair was brown and had it permed. He didn’t look to have aged at all. But who was Mino kidding? Looking younger than what he really was is still Kim Jinwoo’s super power. He stood up from his seat and left the café. He didn’t care if he left Seunghoon’s half full Iced Americano on the table. He was more worried that Jinwoo will get lost or worse, think that no one was there waiting for him. He approached the brunette wearing a grey hoodie with distressed jeans and sneakers that have the back folded.

“Hi,” he greeted and he saw Jinwoo jump a little.

_“Still cute as ever,” _he thought to himself.

“Mino?” Jinwoo asked. Mino scratched the back of his head.

“Yeah, Seunghoon hyung is with me.” he gave the elder a small smile.

“Oh I see.” Jinwoo felt awkward for being hopeful but he returned the other’s smile. Mino sensed the awkwardness and sighed. He needed to snap out of it so he took the carrier bag, which he assumed had Rei and Bei in it from Jinwoo’s right hand and gave the elder a more genuine smile.

“Welcome home, hyung.” he said softly. Jinwoo was clearly flustered but the smile he gave Mino now was more sincere and might’ve made his heart skip a beat.

“I’m glad.” Jinwoo replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for bearing with me! and for loving WINNER 💙 stream SOSO on Youtube!

**Author's Note:**

> This is a product of a sleep-deprived college student escaping from her revisions. Comments are welcome~ next and last chapter will be out soon!


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